Should You Keep Him or Leave Him?

Is it Time to Forget Him?

Are you struggling with an on-again, off-again relationship you hope will develop into something serious, but never does? The problem is more common than you might think. In fact, in my work as a professional dating coach and matchmaker, it’s one of the most common things I see.

The story’s always the same. Whenever you’re with the guy, the chemistry is so intense, you feel like there’s no way he’s not as crazy about you are you are about him. He even tells you how into you he is! But the minute you go your separate ways, poof!

He disappears. Like, for months.

You call, you text, but you can’t get a straight answer. Or maybe you can’t get any answer at all. And then on day out of the blue, just when you’ve given up, just when you’re ready to let go and move on and find a more suitable partner…

…HE shows up. And you go through the same crazy, passionate, ultimately disappointing dance all over again.

Just reading this, the solution probably seems obvious. If you saw your best friend or your sister going through this with a guy, you’d tell her to block his number and delete his Facebook profile right that minute! But when it’s you, it’s a little harder to be objective. It can be hard to see the truth if maybe you don’t want to know the truth.

So here’s a little truth from me. When it comes to relationships, you can’t get anywhere without it. And in one of these on-again, off-again situations, there are two ways to get it.

1. Be honest. Tell him how you feel about him and ask him if he’s interested in the kind of relationship you want. Then (and this is the hard part) accept his answer. If he says no, give yourself credit for trying and move on, knowing you are free to find the right man for you.

2. If being honest feels too awkward, focus honestly on his actions. If he doesn’t make an effort to be with you outside your occasional hook-ups, that means those hook-ups are all he wants from you. Give yourself permission – or maybe an order – to move on. The truth hurts, I know. But I promise, you won’t regret it later.

Whatever your relationship issue is, I want to hear about it! So if there’s anything about dating that’s driving you crazy, any problem you can’t seem to get past, ask me your question here on my blog. I may even wind up answering it in a future post!